Before I even begin, I must say that this particular post is more for myself. So just let me talk to myself for a while! 🙂
I am not perfect….
Nor will I ever be.
Sometimes I try.
I want to make the bed every morning. I want to have an empty sink. I would love for my floors to always be crumb free. It would be lovely if all of my junk mail never made it’s way to the basket on my kitchen counter.. I mean how hard is it to just throw that stuff away? Isn’t that basket suppose to be for fruit anyway? It would also be lovely if those freshly dried towels didn’t sit on the couch a few days before being put away. Ok, so maybe I let them sit in the dryer… just so they aren’t on the couch. Wouldn’t it be nice if that box of clothes that I’ve been in the process of putting away for storage would magically put itself away, instead of sitting in Luke’s floor for the past week? I would love for everything in my home to be organized and always put back in it’s place (or for it to actually have a place) but in reality, even if someone organized my house they would have to move in with me to keep it that way.
In honesty, the weeks that these things (you know, the cleaning and constantly putting away and what not) happen, all at the same time, I am exhausted. Literally worn out. I truly love the way it feels to have a clean house. But that feeling is just not motivation enough to make me work like crazy and be exhausted every night (pregnant or not). I just can’t do it all. Like Lisa said, “cleaning house from daylight to dark is just not fun”, at least not for me. I guess some people enjoy it. (To those of you who do, BLAH to you… just kidding, of course) I am not one of those people.
Now for some more honesty: If you come over to my house and I know it and I have enough time to clean like a crazy lady, you will find a spotless house. I just want to confess that my house doesn’t always look that way. I don’t want to appear to have it all together… because I don’t. If you could see the mess that surrounds this computer you would know what I mean (and if I was brave enough I’d post a picture and show you.. but I’m not). Lisa also said, “There is much ministry in truth-telling” and I couldn’t agree more. Her post motivated me to write this by the way.
Please don’t get me wrong. I am not a slob, not always anyways! 😉 I do try to keep the house tidy. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I just want to be real. I know that part of my job as a wife and a mother is to make our home a safe haven and I desire for God to continue to grow me in that area. Thinking about the story of Mary and Martha though, sometimes it’s just best to sit at Jesus’ feet… or sit in the floor and read Luke a book. I can’t tell you how many times that little sweet boy has tugged on my pants leg while I was washing dishes and asked me to read him a book. I know that I can’t always drop everything for him, he needs to know that sometimes I have to do other things. As a mother though, he is my greatest priority and responsibility. In the same sense my husband needs to know that I am his biggest supporter and sometimes that may mean making sure he has clean underwear but other times that may mean just stopping what I’m doing to verbally be his encourager.
It’s a balancing act… one that I’m not quite sure I’m very good at! It’s a continual prayer for me.
Lord, help me to be the mother and wife You’ve called me to be….