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Evidently Jude is the size of a big winter melon… what is a winter melon?!
Image from The Bump!

37 weeks today! I honestly can’t believe that in just a few weeks my sweet Jude will be here. It’s so close and I get butterflies when I think about it! So, in lieu of the arrival of my third, precious little guy, I’ve decided to take an Internet break. Here lately I have felt the need to just focus. Focus on the Lord, focus on this birth, and focus on my family. I want to focus on the Lord and His goodness. He has paved the path for this birth and I want to be sure to follow His lead in these last few weeks. I want to seek Him and find my security and peace in Him. I want to focus on His love because, ‘perfect love casts out all fear’ (1 John 4:8). I know myself. I am prone to worry and anxiousness. I am prone to let fear take control. How do I avoid that? Focusing on Him. He does not give a spirit of fear “but of power, love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7) I want to focus on this birth. This birth is unlike any other I’ve had. It will be so very different. The fears of something going wrong often overtake me and I really have to work at putting them out of my mind. I know so many are probably tired of hearing me talk about this birth but VBA2C’s are not common because of the risks (albeit low), especially around here. Natural births are not common around here (only 5% of births at the hospital where I will deliver is natural). I attempted to have both of my boys but obviously they ended up in c-sections. Both times I strongly feel that my knowledge, the Dr attending me and the interventions that were given is what lead me to have the surgeries. I know my body was capable to deliver both of my babies. It just wasn’t capable of doing it with all of the medical interventions that I was given. Oh what I know now! But I can’t dwell on that. I want to focus on this birth. And there is a possibility that this birth will not end the way I want it because of my previous births. I’m anticipating great things but preparing for all things (stolen from my Dr!). So, I want to focus on the things I’ve learned on my own, from my doula and my Dr and give it my best shot. My focus on God and my focus on this birth go hand in hand. I cannot do this without Him. I truly believe He made my body to birth all of my babies. My prayer now (and has been) is that my body will be completely healed from my previous surgeries so that I can birth the way God intended! So, pray with me! Lastly, I want to focus on my family. We are a family of four about to turn into a family of five! How exciting! I want to cherish the moments we have together these next couple of weeks as we anticipate the birth of Jude. I love them all so much I could burst!

I plan to continue to blog about my pregnancy over the next few weeks but I will not be around Facebook much at all. I just don’t need the distraction. I promise to post when I go into labor (because I NEED your prayers!) and of course when he arrives we will share lots of pictures!

My days will be spent reading God’s Word, praying, and listening to little boys talk about Star Wars. They will be spent baking cookies and cooking meals. They will be spent washing newborn clothing, organizing sweet baby things and day dreaming of holding my sweet baby. Normal and ordinary. The way I like it! Pray for me. My feet are swelling pretty bad. Today I decided to just rest for 30 minutes on and off all day and it seems to be helping. I’m getting up for about 45 minutes to an hour and doing things around the house and then taking 30 minute breaks to rest and put my feet up. We did all of Luke’s school during those 30 minute breaks in my bed today! I love homeschooling! I am drinking tons of water and my blood pressure is good! I’m doing brisk, 10 minute walks around the house (the yard would be nice.. but it’s nasty out today!) during my up times to keep my blood circulating and my body moving. I’ve got a basket of laundry next to me that desperately needs folding now, too! So, I’m trying to stay productive even while resting! Again, pray for my body to be healed from the past and be ready to birth Jude into the world naturally! Pray for my fears, that I will trust God completely and that He will give me His peace! I know there are several of you out there praying for me and I am so thankful for each of your prayers!

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3

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