It’s been a whirlwind around here with winding down school and other life events! I’m ready for things to slow a little. It will always be crazy inside our walls but at least I can keep it contained, right!? I’m looking forward to lazy days where I don’t have to get dressed and the boys can play outside all day! We’ve got our end of the year program tonight and several errands (including getting my license renewed, FUN!) tomorrow, so I’m counting on next week being low-key!
Right now the older boys are playing Legos… surprised? And Jude is asleep. Yep, it’s 9:40am and he’s asleep. You see, the kid won’t nap. It’s a good day if I get one 45 minute nap out of him. He usually takes several 20 minute naps though. It wears on me but I’m trying to take it in stride and pray through. I just need wisdom to figure him out. I’m not sure what (if) I’m doing wrong. He’s a happy baby most of the time but when he’s up and down so much it leaves little time for much else. I’m learning a lot of lessons in patience and trusting in the Lord. I’m trying to trust the Lord to fill me when the monotony wears on me and I’m feeling empty.
A blogging friend of mine shared how reading the story in 1 Kings 17 about the widow showed her that God always provides what we need but it might be just at the exact moment that we are empty. I can tell you there are so many days when I get to empty but I often forget to trust the Lord and look to Him to supply what I need next. That results in frustration for me. And out of that frustration I often use the wrong tones with my big boys, feel desperate and depressed and totally lose my joy.
So often when we think of the Lord providing for us, we think of physical things. Food, money, clothing, shelter. But God will also provide the strength to rock Jude one more time because he woke after five minutes, and to do it with a good attitude. God will provide the right attitude I need when I am asked to put that Lego man’s arms on one more time. He will provide the ability to persevere when I wake to see a messy kitchen that just didn’t get cleaned the night before because I feel asleep with Jude out of pure exhaustion. God will give grace and reveal to my heart right expectations when there really hasn’t been any time to clean that bathroom. Jehovah Jireh will provide. He will fill me when I am empty as long as I seek Him.
These are the lessons He’s teaching me, among many others. Life as a mommy is hard but I’m learning to lean into Him. It will be a lifetime of learning because I’m not even close to getting it! I’m praying to have a teachable spirit. What lessons are you learning lately?
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.