I’m a little late to the game in the new years blog posts. I wrote this post out a few days ago but my laptop is being frustrating and wanting to go S.L.O.W.

As I think back over 2015, well, I have a lot of thoughts. I honestly don’t have many vivid memories from the first half of the year. The second half of the year though… was tough. For the past 6 or so months, I’ve dealt with some really heavy anxiety issues, which sometimes leads to depression. It’s been a hard few months and I’m still fleshing it all out.

As tough as it’s been, the Lord has been so good and gracious to me. He is teaching me so much and I trust that He will continue. He has met me in dark places. He has shown me love, a love I’m praying to fully comprehend. I know the root of much of my anxiety and I’m fighting head on. I’ve come face to face with some of the ugliness of my own sin during this time. I’m learning and I’m growing thanks to a loving Father who has not let me go. One thing I know, fear never comes from God to those He so loves. So, I will fight for joy and fight to fully trust in the God who loves me completely. I will continue to press in to Christ, to trust and seek Him. He is my answer. I want the world to know He is so worthy. That’s been a prayer I’ve been praying and today I read a quote that echos the same: “Our victory is that we treasure Christ in a way that exposes the world as unsatisfying.” (John Piper)

I’d like to share some of the ways I’m fighting in the future, but today I will mention the most influential book I read last year outside of the Bible. It’s When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy by John Piper. I highly recommend it, even if you’ve never dealt with anxiety or depression. It has helped me to see the biblical truths I need to focus on and put practical steps in growing and moving forward. Those truths are  so helpful to anyone! I will read it again and again!

Looking ahead, my hope for the new year is Jesus. My desire is Jesus. I do have some small goals that I’ve been praying over and maybe I will share those, too. I hope you’ll join me here in the new year because one of those smaller goals is to share more here as time allows. I think I say this often but I do want to be an encouragement to you. In closing, this song sums up much of my thoughts on my life…

“If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn’t let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn’t mine

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long”

My Story, Big Daddy Weave

Blessings to you in the new year!

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